GOONS
GOONS is a black team alliance founded on August 20th, 2019. Jazz R. Oppenheimer is the first and current El Presidente la Langosta. Largely GOONS membership comes from the SomethingAwful.com forums. On 5 February 2020, GOONS rebranded as the Green Protection Agency. Charter Preamble GONOS (hereafter referred to as GOONS) is an invasion alliance from a dead comedy forum with one goal, to relive our glory days through cheap shots at the general PnW playerbase. Blasphemy I: Admission Admission into GOONS is achieved in two steps. Either, by laying down an offering of :10bux: to That Pig or, the nation must submit at least one hilarious comic as to why we should allow them to join, MSPaint preferred. Upon completion of one of these steps, the nation shall receive protection. Applying nations must not be a part of any existing alliance. Blasphemy II: Government & The Closet GOONS Closet: The Closet of GOONS is the governing body of the alliance. Any member of the Closet may ban any member from the alliance and may also reject membership to anyone. However, they must wrangle together at least two other members of the Closet to agree to these actions before they may be implemented. El Presidente la Langosta (Lobster president): In charge of the entire alliance. All decisions that will affect the welfare of GOONS will be made by them. Optimus Prime Minister: Second in command, with similar standing and power as the Presidente. All legislative measures (as well as election cycles) are handled by the OPM. * Hambassidor: Will handle requests from other alliances, These requests included, but are not limited to: Embassy Requests, Diplomatic Missions, etc. Also is required to perform various sexual favours over the course of their tenure. * Penile Envoy: A useless advisor, required to coup Jazz if he allies Fark. Lard Commandante: Coordinates and implements economic goals, controls automation, & repairs broken discord bots. * Dumbo Wrangler: Responsible for maintaining and creating guides and other materials to assist member nations in the planning and execution of nation building. Is also the alliance's discord nanny and janitor. * Bus Fare Guru: Works with the Lard Commandante to research ways to utilitze game mechanics to better the GOONland Co-Prosperity Sphere. Corvid Comptroller: In charge of research of appropriate & raidable alliances in which GOONS can pillage & plunder, also makes nests out of sticks upon request. * High War Adjudicator: In charge of processing mercyboard applicants, also gets pubbies to eat dog food for the enjoyment of the membership Hurr Comm: A made up position which sole purpose is to ruin the fun of the other government member’s actions by constantly telling them “please stop acting like that”. Also, Chunky Monkey. Let it be known that members of the Closet are essentially on the same level as one another when it comes to decision making. However, the Presidente/Lobster and Optimus Prime Minister will generally get their way most of the time. Blasphemy III: War It is at the discretion of the Closet to determine to what extent the alliance will spread grief upon the masses. However, it is a fair assumption that it will be a great deal. Members of the alliance are expected to have educated themselves in not only the proper ways of war profiteering but also curbstomping. Alliance Announcements *Declaration of Existence *GOONS On Vacation *BK Surrenders *GOONS Announcement *GOONS - TLE Peace Agreement GOONS Gazette *GOONS Gazette Vol. 1 *GOONS Gazette Vol. 1.5: Special War Edition *GOONS Gazette Vol. 2.1 *GOONS Gazette Vol. 3 *GOONS Gazette Vol. 4 *GOONS Gazette Vol. 5 *GOONS Gazette Vol. 6 *GOONS Gazette Vol. 7